How to save a life
by Sparkling Dragon Tears
Summary: Tyler commits suicide. Caleb/Reid slash, char. death, songfic to The Fray, lang, sad.


D/c: I don't own the Covenant people.  
D/c 2: Song by The Fray.

Warnings: Slash, Language, Char. Death, Suicide, Sad.

Songfic to _How to save a life. _Lyrics are italic.

This is quite a sad story. I originally wanted it to be Reid that had died and the focus of the song on Tyler. However, it turned out quite the opposite. Song focus is on Caleb and the death is obvious.

Please enjoy, and please tell me what you think. I love this song and I wanted to make something touching.  
--

_Step one you say we need to talk,_

_He walks, you say "Sit down it's just a talk."_

_He smiles politely back at you,_

_You stare politely right on through._

_Some sort of window to your right,_

_As he goes left and you stay right_

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_And you begin to wonder why you came._

The air was cold and stale as Caleb stared out the window of his kitchen. The phone had been shut off because he couldn't handle any more calls. He was watching the grey clouds rolling over the sky and the atmosphere turning dull. His heart was aching so badly that he felt unable to breathe. His eyes had stopped making tears about seven hours ago, and now he was just lost.

Yesterday morning, after Reid had gone back to the dorms, he'd gotten the call. Caleb had answered the early morning call to hear Reid sobbing uncontrollably. It was then that he'd found out that the youngest Covenant brother had killed himself over the night Reid had stayed with Caleb.

Caleb was in shock and disbelief on his way, hauling all ass toward the dorms. He'd called Pogue, unable to confirm the news. Pogue met the other two at the room moments after Caleb had arrived. He had frozen in shock before rushing to help Caleb pull a frantic Reid off of his best friend.

Caleb and Pogue calmed Reid down enough to send him to his parent's house for a while, before letting paramedics take Tyler's pale body away. Caleb had sent Pogue to make sure Reid wasn't doing anything drastic, after making sure he was all right, of course. Pogue seemed to be in shock though, unable to believe anything, just blindly following orders and trying to keep Reid safe.

Caleb however, didn't cry until he got home again. From then, he broke out in quiet sobs every time the phone rang and someone asked him if the news were true. Eventually, he'd gotten sick of it and shut off the phone. He sat in silence, thinking and crying for hours before he wore himself out.

So here he was, staring out the frosted window, too numb to sleep, too exhausted to cry. He needed to talk to Reid today, to make sure he was going to be okay. He and Reid had been an item for quite a while and apparently, Tyler had been more bothered by it than they'd thought.

Caleb couldn't bring himself to turn on the phone again, so he called the Power to him and Used to try and talk to Reid telepathically.

_Reid..._ He thought, closing his eyes and concentrating.

_What?_ The voice Reid thought in was flat and depressed.

_What are you doing?_ Caleb tried to think gently.

_Nothin'._ He thought dully.

_Mind if I stop by?_

_Go for it._ Caleb assumed the conversation was over because Reid thought nothing else. He pulled together his strength and went out to his convertible.

Looking up at the sky, Caleb sighed, feeling more empty by seeing the dark clouds. He drove off toward the Garwin house, making it there in record time. Caleb found himself at the front door, face to face with his blonde brother.

Caleb looked over Reid. His eyes were red and bloodshot, but there were no tears on his face. He was pale and Caleb doubted that he'd slept or ate in the past 24 hours; he knew that he hadn't. However, Reid didn't look upset or tired. Instead, he was trying to pretend like nothing was wrong.

"Hey. Come in, my mom made hot chocolate for us." He stepped aside and let Caleb in. Caleb followed him to the kitchen and took the coffee mug Reid handed him. He leaned against the counter while Reid sat on the table.

"We have to talk." Caleb said after a moment of silence. Reid frowned and stood to leave.

"So you're gonna leave me now?" He demanded. His ears turned red with anger, but his face stayed stony.

"No, chill out dude. I just want to talk to you." Reid nodded and sat back down. Caleb nodded back to him, before looking out the window in the blonde's kitchen. The sky still hadn't changed.

"I never should have stayed." Reid muttered, watching Caleb for a reaction.

"It's not the first time. We knew what we were doing. We do it all the time." Caleb chewed on his lip nervously. He was hoping that Reid wasn't going to blame himself or Caleb for Tyler's suicide, but knew that he would.

"What the fuck?" He asked lowly, voice monotonous. "Why?"

"Reid, we've got to figure out what happened." Caleb watched Reid slug down his drink and throw the mug on the table.

"We happened, Cay." He looked up into Caleb's eyes. Caleb had never seen such purity in the bright eyes. They were swimming with tears, but they both knew that he wouldn't cry. Caleb couldn't look anymore and stared down into his drink. He watched the bubbles swirl around in the cup, trying to think. What could he possibly say that would make any difference? Why was he here, really?

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up with you all night,_

_Had I known how to save a life..._

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, just thinking. Reid was beating himself up inside, and everyone could see it. No one else really knew the reason Tyler had done this, not even Caleb, not really. Caleb knew that it was because of his and Reid's "relationship", if you could call it that. But really, only Reid knew how beat up the kid was. Tyler had hinted, suggested, everything short of just telling his best friend that he felt ignored. Tyler felt left out by his brothers, abandoned by his best friend. And all this time, Reid thought he was being a baby about it. He would humor the kid by listening, but would always change subject or skip off.

Reid looked up into Caleb's eyes and Caleb saw pain. Reid ran his hands through his hair and covered his face. He sat there, staring at his palms for a good few minutes.

_Let him know that you know best,_

_'Cause after all you do know best._

_Try to slip past his defense,_

_Without granting innocence._

_Lay down a list of what is wrong,_

_The things you've told him all along._

_And pray to God he hears you,_

_And pray to God he hears you..._

"It's not your fault Reid." Caleb said softly.

"No, you're right, it's just as much yours as mine." Reid growled back, knowing he was just accusing Caleb to feel a bit better.

"It's no one's fault." Caleb tried to remain calm, knowing that Reid was very unstable right now, no matter how he was trying to hide it.

"What the Hell do you know?" Reid demanded, hitting his fists on the table. He glared through his bangs, anger barely held.

"Reid, this is fucked up, but I know that if it was going to happen, we couldn't have stopped it anyway. Ty is his own person, we don't control him." Caleb needed to be there for Reid, and they both knew it, but he had to convince him that it wasn't his fault.

"He did it because of us! You know that!" Reid stood quickly, throwing his chair backward. He rubbed a fist over his eyes to keep tears at bay. Caleb could only try to be calm.

"What did you tell him?" He asked, surprising the blonde a bit.

"What did I tell him?" Reid asked confused, momentarily forgetting his rage.

"Remember when we started this?" Caleb asked, setting his drink down and shoving his hands in his pockets. "We said we weren't going to tell people. We knew that they would freak out."

"So now it's my fault for telling my brother who I fucked?" Reid asked dejectedly, leaning back against a wall.

"No, Reid. We agreed to tell the guys, they would have been pissed if they found out." Reid scowled at the floor, but said nothing. Caleb crossed the room and rested a hand on Reid's shoulder. "We knew the risks when we started. We knew they wouldn't take it lightly. We knew that they wouldn't be happy about it."

"Yeah, but we didn't know Baby Boy would..." Reid trailed off and Caleb felt him shaking with silent tears. He pulled the blonde into a hug and rested his chin on Reid's shoulder. Reid let his arms hang loosely at his sides and let himself be held.

"Reid, listen to me." Caleb pulled back after Reid had stopped crying. The blonde refused to look in his eyes. "There is nothing we could have done." He said slowly. Reid shook his head, but said nothing. Caleb knew he needed to get through to the boy or he would do something terrible.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up with you all night,_

_Had I known how to save a life..._

"I could have." He said shaking his head again. "I could have stayed."

"Reid, this wasn't the first time you've stayed overnight with me. He should be used to it." Reid pulled away and punched the wall. Caleb let him stare at his fist for a moment and waited for the blonde to speak.

"I can still fucking see him." Reid was breathing hard and his voice was rough. "All that blood." Caleb watched him look at his own wrists before hitting the wall again. "How could he?" Reid demanded. He went to punch the wall again and Caleb caught his arm. Reid sighed with defeat and fell back against the elder. "How could he leave us?" His voice was small and Caleb held him tightly.

"Baby, he didn't leave us. He left his pain." Caleb nuzzled Reid's hair for a moment.

_As he begins to raise his voice,_

_You lower yours and grant him one last choice._

_Drive until you lose the road,_

_Or break with the ones you've followed._

_He will do one of two things:_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same._

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came._

"We're the only reason he had this pain." Reid stated. "All of our fighting drove him crazy. Imagine how he felt when he found out we were screwing." He pulled away from Caleb and crossed the room, staring at the grey word outside.

"How do you feel about it?" He asked softly. For a moment, time stood still, Reid just staring at the sky. The clouds stayed suspended with time, holding back their rain, refusing to let it go. Caleb stood, watching the blonde's back rise and fall repeatedly with his breath.

"I don't know." He finally answered.

"What are you thinking?" Caleb asked, leaning on the table. Reid still hadn't turned to face him, but answered.

"You want to know what I'm thinking?" He asked bitterly. "I'm thinking that all I had to do was listen to him. All I had to do was really listen to what he was saying. Stay a little bit longer while he was talking to me."

"If you had, we probably wouldn't be together." Caleb noted.

"And Tyler wouldn't be dead." Reid ground out. Caleb swallowed hard. This was the first time he had actually heard someone say flat out that Tyler was dead, not just that he'd died.

"So, what now?" Caleb asked. He knew that Reid needed him, but also knew that at the moment, Reid wanted nothing to do with him. "We can stay together or you can go back to being a man whore." Caleb always picked on him for sleeping around, so Reid wasn't offended as he tried to lighten the mood.

Reid stared at the clouds, wishing the heavens would open up and give him all the answers. He could stay with Caleb. They were happy, there was no doubt about that. They fought all the time, but they made up for it via sex, something they both enjoyed. And it wasn't like the whole world knew, he was still a swinger. However, it was because of his lies that his best friend had been driven to suicide. How could he possibly continue doing what he had been when every action reminded him of Tyler? Either way, Reid knew that every waking thought would be plagued with images of his little brother, alive or dead.

"Now? Now my entire life is changed. Now my brother is gone forever. I will never be able to laugh with him, hold him, talk to him, ever again. I don't know how the Hell I'm supposed to go on with my life. I can't even picture my future without any of you guys." He finally faced Caleb and looked over the brunette. "I can already feel the change in the Power." He said dumbfounded. He didn't know what to feel.

"So can I." Caleb nodded.

"I don't know how to go on with my life." Reid admitted.

"You know that I'll be there for you." Caleb said, hoping to convince the blonde to stay.

"I know, but can I say the same?" He looked blank. Caleb could see that he didn't trust himself.

"You know you'll be okay." Caleb tried.

"Fuck that. You know that's bullshit. I'll never be okay and you know it." Caleb didn't try to argue with the blonde, because he knew that it was worthless. Reid wasn't going to believe anything he had to say. He was just wasting his breath. Why was he here then? What could he do?

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up with you all night,_

_Had I known how to save a life..._

If there was nothing he could say, Caleb knew that it would be his actions that would keep his lover sane. He went up to Reid, ignoring the fact the he tried to increase his personal space bubble. He tipped up Reid's chin to look at him.

He didn't have to say anything. He met Reid's lips softly, and the gentle kiss made everything a little better. He could taste the salt from Reid's tears. The touch between the soft lips was enough to make both of them relax. They stayed like this for a few minutes, not making out, just kissing, just sharing love, hope, and fear.

Caleb finally broke the kiss and opened his eyes he hadn't realized had closed. He looked over the pale blonde, realizing just how young and small he looked. The bright blue eyes met his though, and he saw that years had been added to his mental age. The tragedy they'd suffered and the horror they'd seen was enough to age them both inside.

Caleb could see worry in Reid's head. He knew that the blonde was terrified of what would happen next. Who would be the next one driven to insanity, pushed too far, or dead? They both knew that Reid was afraid that it would be him. He was afraid to end up the same way, talking to deaf ears, pleading silently, only to be ignored. He was scared that Caleb would treat him the way he had Tyler.

_How to save a life..._

"I promise you Reid, I will be there if you need to talk." Reid searched his dark eyes, looking for any trace of doubt or lies. He finally nodded, not sure he entirely believed him. Caleb knew that he didn't trust him. He pulled Reid as close as he could, holding their chests together so they could feel each other's hearts.

_How to save a life..._

"I will always be there for you." He whispered, sealing his promise. He looked out the window over Reid's shoulder. He felt arms wrap around him and hold him close.

"Swear?" He heard a mumble from his shoulder. He felt his shirt growing damp with tears and his own eyes pricked with heat. He watched the grey clouds rolling lower in the sky, ready to break.

"I swear." He said, letting one tear roll down his cheek, just as the rain broke free from the sky.  
--

Please tell me what you think.  
I was thinking about making a sequel to this, a songfic to _Never Too Late (Three Days Grace)_, but we'll see.

I have a drabble about Reid up as well. It is called _Inevitable._

Till next time,  
-J X


End file.
